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Get off the Sidelines!

Are you sitting on the sidelines of life?

Have you fallen so hard that you decided the game is over? You retreat from the game and now sitting on the sidelines. Sometimes we find ourselves there because of different reasons; it can be injury, pain, a fault, lack of confidence, feeling defeated, a penalty that threw you off the game, something you did wrong, or perhaps it was not your fault. Whatever it is, you’re not done. Even if you get condemned by the spectators or commentators, you still have a place in the game.

No matter how you feel, whether mocked, written off, cancelled out, tagged worthless, called a failure, lost in depression or locked up in anxiety, you are not OUT. Tap into the power of getting up again. Refuse to reduce yourself to the sidelines. You don’t belong there. Your place is in the GAME.

After being knocked off so many times and thrown out of this beautiful game of Life. I have now discovered the power of getting back up again no matter how many times I’ve fallen or been knocked off by life’s experiences. I refuse to settle for the sidelines.

I am in the process of rewriting my comeback. Will you join me? Just because you are off the game doesn’t mean you can never be back in it.

Write your comeback story. You are not eliminated. Jump back up, face that obstacle, that hurt, that scar, that situation and show it your comeback action. You are a champion made for greatness not failure. You are only a failure if you accept it. Instead, when you fail (we all do at some point in life) and find yourself on the sidelines, see it as an opportunity to refuel and jump back in. You aren’t done YET.

Wherever you are, I encourage you to get off that sideline and jump back into the game. The match isn’t over unless you call it so. Even if people have called it finished, you can start the game all over again. You have a destiny and a future beyond the sidelines, so don’t settle there. Get back up into the destiny game, and head on to that unfolding future ride awaiting your comeback.

See you in the comeback GAME.

Comments are welcome

The Identity Search!

We are all stuck at a particular juncture in life searching for meaning, significance, worth and standing or name. It seems like we are in a survival jungle searching for the next button that will give us all the answers and lead us to the next step in life where we emerge a ‘WOW.’ That survivor jungle mode is on the rise!

Looking around each day as I set off on life’s daily routine, all I see is the search for identity in the eyes and appearances of many. We all appear to be lost in transit, somehow.
My question is, ‘why identity?’ Is it a must have or must discover on our ‘to-do’ list? Yes, it is, and this search is so intense that most of us will do anything in and out of our reach to be recognised and acknowledged. It is scary watching this theatrical play in today’s society.

So have you found your identity, or are you still in the search queue? The sad thing for most of us is that we already know who we are, but discontentment and insecurity is the thief robbing us of our self-worth and making us compare with other people, thus the drive for an identity we think is missing for us to be recognised.

At times I think it is attention seeking that drives us into a search that we already know or have the answer, if only we stop and listen to our crying soul for a minute. Everyone wants a name for themselves. Just look at social media, and you’ll understand what I’m saying. It still throws me off guard anytime I see the sacrifices we lay at our devastation all for the name ‘identity.’

There is a collision clatter going on every day around the world. I called it the ‘Identity crisis.’

Mismatched identity is so detrimental that it can cause depression in the human soul. I know this because I’ve been there. But we do it anyway. Most of us know very well that the identity we are pursuing is unhealthy for the soul, but yet we walk right into it with eyes open. I was once a victim. Oh no, more than once.

I was going out of what I knew was right to feel and look like some people and not valuing who I am on the inside. I thought I could only feel good and more appealing when I do what others were doing and look like them. So I entered a particular relationship because I wanted a new identity, even though I knew it was going to be a lifestyle of compromise.
It ended up a very abusive relationship that I can’t tell you how I am standing ‘sane’ and emotionally balanced today if not for the grace of God. Now, you’ll think I’ll learn from that and accept who I was and stay put. But no, I went into another one that looks like a bed of roses from the outside, but the level of ‘give and take’ in that relationship had me packing for the sanity of my soul.

What is driving your identity search? Is it belonging, self-worthlessness, feelings of an outcast, and feeling like a misfit or just pleasure? Mine was for belonging and pleasure, but I paid a dare price for it. One of the greatest cries of the human heart and soul is acceptance. And we’ll do anything for it. We are ready to change our identity to any other no matter what it looks like, as long as we feel accepted in that new colony.

So have you asked yourself these questions, ‘Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in the here and now season of my life? Where am I going?’ If we can’t answer these questions, then I’m afraid we’ll find ourselves back in the identity queue and falling into the wrong colony different from who we are made to be and live out.

After all the painful ‘trial and error‘ I went through, I’m glad I’ve found my identity in SOMEONE who loves me beyond description. His name is Jesus.

Who are you, really?
Comments are welcome.

In the Waiting!

Come, I invite you to a short but very thoughtful dialogue I had with a very close friend while sitting here lost in my thoughts. A friend, most of us, don’t like.

Me: I’ve wrestled with you for many years and never won. You’ve always taken the lead. It’s been a long ride with you.

Friend: Listen to me precious one. I’ve not been with you for nothing, I love you so much and desire for you to know me and learn my attributes. I help you build character, improve your personality and reason with your heart.

Me: You’ve asked me to stay in you, but I don’t know what you want to show or teach me this time around. Still, I’ll hold on.

Friend: My name is ‘Waiting,’ and though many don’t like me, I help them reason before making life-changing decisions. I’ve seen people ignored me just to run into disaster and turmoil.

Me: Yeah, you’re right. I’ve been in you for ages, and right now my mind is travelling through a long tunnel called memory lane, thinking of all the times I’ve heeded and allowed you take me through the process. I saw how beautiful the outcomes, and how painful my decisions of ignoring your gentle nudge. But now I want to make you my best friend, one I lean on each day.

Friend: I am glad you’ve seen my impact in your life and considering me a lifelong partner.

Me: Can I tell you something, my new friend? Some secrets I unlocked hanging unto you.

It’s in the waiting I learned how to wait
It’s in the waiting I knew how to cry
It’s in the waiting I understood how it feels to be ignored
It’s in the waiting I ran out of tears
It’s in the waiting I experienced what sleepless nights feel like
It’s in the waiting I learned how to shout in agony
It’s in the waiting I felt the pain of silence
It’s in the waiting I learned to listen even when no one was speaking
It’s in the waiting I saw my impatience
It’s in the waiting I learned how to pour out my soul

But it’s also in the waiting

I mastered how to depend completely
It’s in the waiting I’m broken to surrender
It’s in the waiting I saw my weakness and reactivated my vigour
It’s in the waiting I confronted my insecurities and defeated my fears
It’s in the waiting I turned my failures to opportunities
It’s in the waiting I collided with my hidden strength
It’s in the waiting I overcame anxiety and bet down worry
It’s in the waiting I conquered depression and birthed out freedom
It’s in the waiting I edited, fine-tuned and rewrote my story
It’s in the waiting I’m reminded to be still and know that I am not alone
Now in the waiting, I can hear the sound of my heartbeat as I smell and inhale the fresh air of new beginnings
It’s in the waiting I’m becoming the student ‘patience’ and gradually trusting to escalate to ‘perseverance’ and then the professor ‘HOPE’

Friend: Stay in there, don’t rush the wait, it is there for a reason. Whatever you’re waiting on, tarry ‘in the waiting.’ It may seem infinite, but it’s only for a while. Don’t cancel the experience.
I’ll leave you with this quote, ‘There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under the heavens.’

Me: Now back to you all. What is your waiting experience?

Comments are welcome.

Finding Love and lost in it!

He showed me how to fall in love with myself. Discovering the real me as I stared into his eyes and collided with such an unexplainable silence in the atmosphere, when my breathing fell into a rhythm with his sending my heart on a racetrack — his love burning like fire digging into my soul, and bringing out the hidden beauty in my scars that only he can see.

I thought I was done, but he leaves me undone whenever my eyes crash in awe with his in a circle of intimacy and a deep warmth of adoration.
He loves me, I can tell from the way he looks and smiles at me. He is in love with me even before I knew it. I can’t compete with his constant outpouring love — he gives me the whole definition leaving me convinced that there’s nothing left in that description that I can use.

What expression can I use to exhibit my appreciation for him? He has employed every word about love from the dictionary and beyond, pouring them on me. There’s nothing I can say that he doesn’t understand. His love read my mind and emptied my heart of doubt and fear. No one has ever loved me this way, so I feel vulnerable knowing he can see the depth of my heart and the intensity of my love for him. The most staggering of all, he is strikingly irresistible and charming.

He is beyond handsome, loving, breathtaking, beautiful and AMAZING —he is the true definition of beauty. I get amazed when the fire of his unending love burns and pierce right into my soul leaving me defenceless, and helplessly yearning to be in his arms. His name is LOVE.
I am loved and in love. What do I do now, but to dance and get lost in this rhythmic song of love? Turn up the sound. I don’t want the song to end, it’s you and me on this dance floor, and I’m not getting off.

Thank you all for visiting, following and reading my posts in 2018. Have a glorious New Year in advance.
Stay safe in 2019 and dream BIG.

Going Beyond the Shadows!

For years I have hidden behind the shadows of my scars. I now wonder if I can step out and be free. My scars are sacredly hiding in the dark corners of my heart fighting the syndrome of judgementalism if they ever get out. I’ve never told anyone apart from my mentor which was just not the whole story. I didn’t have the boldness to stand out and join the masses with similar scars and say ‘me too.’ The environment I grew up in didn’t give me that privilege to talk about them.

No one likes scars. I’ve seen so many people going to extremes to erase physical scars. But how about the emotional and psychological scars that damage your dignity, devalues and leave you worthless. I don’t think there’s any medication or surgery that can heal those scars. You’ll have to intentionally step out of them, even after you’ve done all types of rehabilitation and counselling. Otherwise, they continue to rob you off your confidence and value, leaving you emotionally and mentally drained. Of course, some of them will require medical support, but that can only work when you make up your mind and cooperate through the process declaring that enough is enough.

I’ve been living in the dark silence about my scars for 21 years now, scared that I’ll get judged and tagged if I ever open up about them. And also unsure of the reaction from my family members and loved ones if they ever hear the news.

Journeying through the seasons, I discovered that life is full of scars, and you can’t dodge them, no matter what you do. You can put up a disguise, but that’s how far you can go. Though scars may not look pleasing, they still remind us of the past and add taste to the testament of our lives. As humans, we fall so many times, and each scar retained has a story to teach us and help someone.

Scars are part of life’s journey here on earth. They remind us of the ‘how’ it happened and ‘why’ it happened, and also add as vital ingredients to the unfolding future ahead. Bear in mind, that we may not know all the ‘whys’ even though we know the ‘hows.’

Recently, I started opening up about some dark scars I’ve been hiding. I found myself sharing more of my dark past with a broader audience, and I don’t feel any more shame, no more fear of being judged, called names and looked down upon just because I’ve fallen victim to some unaccepted baseness of human nature.

My story will no longer be hidden. I am stepping out of every shadow that is holding me captive and going beyond the dark to find hope and courage to create new seasons of life. To be a tenacious voice to my society and culture, facing every naysayer who thinks we are better off hiding in the dark because of our scars and proving to them with a fearless audacity that we are greater in the light. So hear me dark shadow from wherever you are, we will hide no more.
He that is without sin let him cast the first stone!

More of my story in my upcoming memoir ‘Beyond the Shadows’ soon to be published.
Watch this space……gradually loading.

Comments are welcome

BE YOU!

Don’t live in someone’s shadow.
Growing up in my neighbourhood, quite often we keep up an appearance to show we’ve got it together, even when you know you don’t. It was important. You lie and put up stories to belong. I remember several times when I didn’t have a story to tell; I’ll make up one to keep up with the trend. So you end up faking your way through because you don’t want to be left out.

You later grow up into adulthood feeling it’s okay to live life that way. Then we face a challenge and unknowingly slide back into the status quo of keeping up appearance again, even though we feel drained, damaged and empty on the inside. We pull ourselves up, put up a mask (not physical mask) but putting up an outward show of what we are not, and then go out to blend with people proving to be okay.
However, when you get back home, behind your closet, you face the real you that you don’t want to admit. I’ve played this game for so long, keeping up appearance with so many things, until two and a half years ago when I got tired of that trend. Trying to be who I was not just to keep up with the evolving society, and pretending to have it all together, when things were falling apart in my life. It is a hard job to keep, and I was tired of playing that role.

The bitter truth is, no one gave me that responsibility. I took it over and felt that’s what I was supposed to do. Now, let me tell you the truth of what I didn’t want to admit, it was the fear of man and the desire to please people that got me to that point since my childhood days. It hurts living in the shadow of other people and trying to be someone else. You only get a short-term outward reward of it, but then internally, your soul is caged and crying out to be free.

Can I encourage you to BE YOU?
If being ‘You’ is going to upset or offend people so be it, but don’t try to be what you’re not because that’s so much burden to carry. Let’s stop pretending to be who we’re not and take off all that mask.

Give yourself a break, and enjoy your uniqueness. There is no other person like you. You are exceptional, precious, outstanding, beautiful and fearfully crafted. Living someone else’s life is a hard task to take on yourself. Open up to the real ‘You’ and allow yourself to grow, because when you’re trying to keep up appearance and be who you’re not, you’re robbing yourself of so many things. Don’t deprive yourself of healthy growing life, sanity, relaxation and freedom.
Be You!
You are remarkable, peculiar, and a rare gift to planet Earth to distinctively stand out and impact your family, neighbourhood, community, society, your nation and the world at large with your uniqueness. So step out of that shadow and live life fully and abundantly.

Comments are welcome.

The Unfolding Masterpiece!

He’s still designing my life…not sure what the finished masterpiece of my life’s tapestry will look like, but I know it will be worth the wait. He’s been working on the grand masterpiece of my life for 33 years now, and He is still designing, adding colours of rich and radiating design every year. The more I reflect on the past years of His artistic work in my life, the more I see how better and beautiful the picture looks each year.

From the first sketch at conception to 33 years after, my life is looking more stunning every year. More glorious to behold. The hands of the Master Designer never gets weary of adding touches to my life.

Looking into the mirror each day, I could only see what I never thought would happen. Yes, I also see the painful past and the messy life I once lived. But that’s just a comparison of where His Grace found me and the journey Grace is leading me each day. As I stared again into Your mirror this morning, I see Your infinite Love and Mercy for me. I see the smile of a Father who loves me beyond words could describe.

Only He knows the end picture of this incredible life He is designing. He’s putting together the missing parts that got snatched out by the terrible life consequences, repainting the faded areas that the encountered storms of life tried to erase. He’s adding living colours that cannot be faded anymore. Adding value to this once disvalued and trampled life. Knitting and adding embroidery as He weaves my once torn apart life with colourful scarlet thread, making this a beautiful tapestry to behold.

Master Potter, I am like clay in Your hands. My vessel left unsuitable for its intended use, life has battered and rendered me unfit for Your original purpose, but because You are a God of second chances, You’ve marred the battered vessel in Your hand, and reform me again into another as it seemed perfect to You. My life is in Your hands going through unfolding events, but the latter will be worth the process.

When words are not enough to describe Your faithfulness, I stared in amazement. When the dictionary is not enough to define who You are, You leave me astounded. When the encyclopedia cannot give information enough about You, I’m left dumbfounded. So I willingly surrender and allow You to finish this masterpiece portrait You’ve started before conception.

Walk with me as I await the Final Masterpiece of this astonishing and breathtaking tapestry of my life.

Grateful to witness another year!

Time Zone!

Hello Everyone,
To my wonderful readers, thank you so much for your patience during this time of silence. It’s been a long while not blogging as I got buried in some speaking engagements, finalising some few manuscripts and my upcoming book due before Christmas.

I got inspired by this post written by my younger brother. He called it Time Zone!

I hope it speaks to you the same way it does to me.
Here we go.
Don’t go chasing after waterfalls if your calling is to stick by the stream, because waterfalls are on a rapid move and unless you’re empowered to flow into it, then stay where you’re stationed to be in that season until the signal comes for you to move into an accelerated Time Zone.

Many a time in life, we decide to go after ‘waterfalls’, i.e. things that are beyond our reach and too rapid and slippery to grasp. We invest so much time and energy chasing after a phantom, and before we realise what time it is, we are exhausted and out of gas to even chase after what we are called to do.

Everyone has their own pace to pursue. That is why some have their degrees at an early age while others go back to university at the age of thirty or even later. Some may get a job right after graduation while others wait for years before finding a satisfying career.

At times people become accomplished at a young age and may not value that season because they still think they have all the time in the world. Others get to the success of their purpose in their late 50’s and move on to change their society and impact the world! Retirement for many maybe at sixty while others are just starting their career and walking into their purpose at that same age.

Whether you realise it or not, a lot of people are working according to their specific ordained TIME-ZONE. When you look around, it might appear to you as though some people are ahead of you, and some behind. But everyone is running their race! It’s no point envying a person who is successful or trying to look down on someone who’s just starting to climb the ladder. Just focus on your track and keep running that race according to the Time Zone set for you.

Don’t run into the waterfalls when you’re meant to be at the stream and don’t jump out of the waterfalls when you’re supposed to be there. Stay where you are assigned to fulfil Purpose.

Comments are welcome

Living & Enjoying Singlehood (Part 3) 

Time! Princess, take your eyes off the calendar and the clock for a while.

The calendar and the clock are two of the most distracting items that Single people battle with on a daily basis. What time is it? How old are you? When is it going to happen? Are you looking and searching around? Don’t try to be picky, just get whoever comes first. These and many more are the type of questions most Single people face in today’s society. Either from family, friends or loved ones, who can’t wait to hear you unravel the news of ‘I’ve found him & he has proposed.’

If we can take our eyes off the calendar and the clock, it will save us a lot of trouble. Ticking the years, counting age, and comparing with one another while worrying when it’s going to happen are giving us constant stress.
Looking at today’s Christian Single ladies, almost 75% are discouraged and tired of searching for a husband. But who told us that it is our job to do the finding, or that is what we should be doing?

Most of us are taking the responsibility of shepherding ourselves desperately into relationships that are out of God’s plan and purpose for our lives because someone told us we are getting older and should be in our matrimonial homes by now. So the pressure leads us to road bumps experiences and relationship crash because we decided to do it by ourselves and not allowing God to bring us into that relationship when the time is right.

The confidence of knowing we are loved by God no matter what the situation presents somehow lacks in our lives. Whether Mr Right comes knocking or not, whether we get married someday or not, the confidence of knowing who we are in God is the ultimate assurance that can set us free from this stigma of not being found by Mr Right, and the pressure of racing the calendar.

There is so much we can do right now with our time rather than consume ourselves looking for that Perfect Man and chasing the clock. Let’s take the attention off ourselves and the calendar, and focus on our King (Jesus). Time and age can never limit God. He gave Sarah a son at the right time even when everyone thought it was too late and impossible. He did the same for Elizabeth and Zechariah.

You and I need to appreciate this Single season of our life and make use of the available time we have to love God profoundly and extensively while using every gift and talent for His Glory. Let your mind rest in the All-Knowing and never changing God of the Universe. He knows you before creating you and has undoubtedly made all things to fall into pleasant places for you at the right time and place.

I know it can be quite confronting when challenged with the question of ‘what are you waiting for and when is Mr Right coming?’ But I want you to remember that God knows the end of a matter before its beginning, so He surely knows you and your desires, and He does know your address and AGE too.

As a sister of mine says, ‘age is in the heart’. You don’t have to be scared or pressured by age and time because either does not limit the God we serve. A quote from the late Myles Munroe says ‘Age is not a qualification for marriage.’ You are not in a waiting class waiting for the right man; you are a precious daughter of a loving King. You are a priceless Princess to the King of all kings.

So I encourage you to live life abundantly and enjoy this gift that has so much to offer if only we stop being captives of the AGE BOX, and release ourselves to start living this SEASON as God gave it to us.
I leave you with the assurance of Ecclesiastes: 3:1 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Comments are welcome.