Where I long for!

There is a place I long for
Covered with white and gold
Shinning beyond the brightness of the sun
Oh, I keep dreaming of this place the mouth cannot express nor can the mind comprehend the grandness of its glory or the magnitude of its beauty
Where the lion is a gentle friend and its roar beckoning with love
That day I will stand in Your presence, dressed in pure white and gold, dancing unconditionally in Your Glory

There is a void I cannot fill
I’ve given it all I could but still empty
I’ve covered it up with all things but still empty
I’ve spoken to it and commanded it to be filled but still empty
I’ve filled it with tears but still empty
I’ve poured laughter in it but still empty

There is a place I long for beyond the skies
Beyond where the waters meet cloud
Beyond where the sky and the sea meet, the early morning horizon
Where the rising sun kisses the cloud and sets itself above, displaying the magnitude of its lustre

Oh, I keep seeing a place that is out of reach from this side of eternity
A place so magnificent and glorious
A place, I see, every time I close my eyes
A place I long to behold, touch, feel and walk
This thirst I cannot quench, even if I finish the waters in the ocean
A desire strong and deep I cannot control
This thirst that flesh cannot feel nor can satisfy
A longing so beyond the touch of the flesh

My heart longs for Your presence
How did I lose it
Why did I ever let go, Lord
Why did I walk away and leave the way I did
How can I come back
I need to come back for my saneness
My heart is broken and, my soul longing
Please take me back into Your arms
Never let me go even when I feel weak and troubled

I don’t know how to come back
I can’t figure out the path
I’ve been so long gone that I cannot remember how to get back home
Home is in Your presence, and Your presence is LIFE

Oh, I keep dreaming of this place the mouth cannot express nor can the mind comprehend the grandness of its glory or the magnitude of its beauty
Where the lion is a gentle friend and its roar beckoning with love
That day I will stand in Your presence, dressed in pure white and gold, dancing unconditionally in Your Glory

Trapped, How did we get here?

Here a little and there a little. One more, and that should be fine.
Not bad. Once in a while, you need some distraction. It’s been a busy week, so rest and relax. After all, you deserve a switch off from a hectic schedule. Familiar phrases, right? And to be honest, we all need to hear these phrases from time to time.
The danger is when they become habits that replace life principles we have guarded and live by to keep a life of integrity, honesty, truth and faithfulness in our faith journey.

For so long, I’ve been rigid with my time making sure I use my free time productively to harness the gifts in me and pursue purpose. A principle of godly and moral productivity to do away with idleness. It worked for so long that I hardly had time for extra social activities. I enjoyed every bit of the time spent digging into an untapped talent or creative passion that I’ve never realised or left dormant for some reason. Then I decided to take a break, relax, switch off for a while, slow down the hectic principle of pursuing purpose. Take a break, please. Don’t I deserve it?

Well, that break was a trap. Compromises started creeping in, and the break became a comfortable place. So the mind started exploring things that were not of interest. Morally unacceptable. But come on, I know what is wrong and what is right. After all am an adult, right. Just a little bit of this and that won’t pull me away. Am anchored firmly, remember. It’s not backsliding.
Don’t they all start this way? A little bit of letting down our guards and a little bit of turning around shifting focus is all you need to start straying away from a path that keeps you accountable, faithful, and grounded to pursue purpose? I thought I was relaxing, but girl, it was a trap. A snare I fell into which not only took my focus away from pursuing divine purpose but almost dried the well of my ever-flowing source of inspiration and divine creativity.

Compromises, don’t we all fall for them. A little here, and a little there, it doesn’t have to be something big. All it takes is a focus shifting to what is rightly okay but strategically distractive for where we are heading.

Where have you let your guard down? What compromises that presents ‘okay’ are you in right now? How strayed are you from the path of purpose? What’s that comfortable place stealing your productivity? Is your integrity in question? What’s the percentage level of truth and accountability in your life?
These are the questions I asked myself and being sincere with where I am now, compared to where I should have been, had I stayed focus and undistracted. How did I get here? It is a dry convicting, and empty place to be when I know within the right path.

As I sit on my bed each night to take stock of the day’s events and how I’ve spent my time, I begin to evaluate on my percentage scale. How much have I given to idleness, productivity and truth? Was I faithful to the timeframe for each task given to me? Sometimes I get a few smiles back. But most times, I get tears back. How did I get here, how could I have done that, why did I say it that way, how did I miss that?
I don’t know about you but, I am tired of compromises.
I need to refocus on God’s plan and path for my life. And I need His help to get out of this ‘place.’

Where are you now? How did you get there?
There is a way out. Let God help you out and position you back on the right path and purpose for your life.

Comments are welcome

The Pain of Unfairness!

When the pain of unfairness cuts so deep, where can I run?
Where can I hide?
Why play the ‘favourite card?’

You pour your heart
You give your all
You empty your soul
The acts of unfairness become your reward

You offer loyalty
You show yourself faithful
You use all your strength
You pour until you have nothing left
But you are asked to keep giving

You give until you feel the dryness consume everything
How much more can I give and not break?
How much more can I pour and not faint?
Oh, Lord, help!

You empty until the pain of emptiness aches
Yet their reaction shows you don’t deserve a refilling
Haven’t I given enough?

Your strength is gone
Your shouting echos back to you like the rhythm of an unknown song
You are left to dance to the tune of unfairness

But when the shouting is gone, and the song is no more
You are back to face the pain
Yes, unfairness cuts deep when a selected few are privileged to taste the freshness of refilling, nurturing, pruning, and mentoring

Lord, please let it pass
Let me find rest and refilling in You
You are a Fair and Just God

I know You love me, and I find my strength to carry on in Your Love.

These Shoes have a Story to Tell!

If you have never walked in my shoes, you will never understand the process of my transformation. At times the journey to destiny can be so intense if you dare embark on it half-prepared, and with the wrong SHOES.
From one end of the road to the other may look straightforward but what we may not know or see are the hidden potholes and fierce struggles in the ‘in-between’ stages of the journey. Often, these ‘in-between’ phases can tick the OKAY box when looking from a distance until when you start the journey and encounter a BUMP halfway through.
In most cases, the centre part of the journey proves to be the toughest that can push you to back off.
In my case, yes, the storm raged on me, and the waves beat me hard. But I had to push myself and walk the walk to the end. It was not a journey to abort. My life and sanity were at stake. I had to reassess my preparedness and checked I had the right armour to help me to the end. Though the journey was long and the in-between stages tedious, but I needed it for my transformation to be complete. And my brokenness to be restored.

The remoulding of my life’s journey was painful, my pride got ripped off, my know-hows escaped my memory, and my patience stretched. I had to learn perseverance while my heart was going through purification to cleanse the debris caused by my messed up wrong choices.

The detoxing of my soul took so long that I doubted I can ever heal from the pain and guilt. But it was my denial in admitting I needed help, that prolonged the journey. Now I learned that the detoxing of the soul only happens when we accept the truth that we need help, whether medical, spiritual, emotional, psychological or physical.

If my story was just for ONE person, then am glad I told it.

What is that journey you are struggling to take? What is that walk your feet are weary to finish? What is that pain, guilt or shame you are holding on? I know a Redeemer, a Healer and a Saviour (Jesus).

Comments are welcome.

The other side of the Garbage!

I’ve been putting my garbage bins out every week for collection and watched as it gets trashed into the garbage truck.
Some trucks have signs that say, ‘sort it before you bin it.’ Meaning, make sure you’ve sorted out what’s general rubbish, garden waste or recycle before you put them in the bins that get picked up.

Now I can’t say I adhere fully to that (am still trying). At times it gets confusing separating what goes where. But, all the same, I need to sort them out properly.
I saw a documentary showing a big rubbish dump yard where all the garbages get emptied. But what breaks my heart is the people that were faithfully sorting out the debris and identifying treasures in the different garbage trucks as they come in turns and offload the garbages in this stinking smelly landfill. I watched with tears in my eyes at the people who despite the smell find it worth digging into the pile of rubbish looking for only what they’ve trained their eyes to see, and their hearts to recognise as valuables.

I concluded that in every rubbish there is something priceless for someone.

What is that garbage situation you’re facing and can’t see anything worth giving a second glance? Most of us are so quick to throw away the troubles and circumstances in our lives into the trash because we’ve tagged them useless. And don’t get me wrong, garbage truly belongs in the bins, but there are situations and experiences in life that leaves us broken yet offer golden life nuggets and wisdom for the next journey before we bin them.

I threw away my over a decade of garbage experience labelling it as a mess and worthless. In my eyes, they were for the landfill. However, fifteen years later, God in His overwhelming grace dig them up from the rubbish dump yard, and with a touch of His GRACE presented them to me as a testimony in the form of a book ‘Beyond the Shadows’ which is now impacting lives and changing stories.

My lessons learnt: Not all of our rubbish is for the general waste bin. Some of them are for the recycle bin. So before you bin it, sort it out properly and put it in the RIGHT bin label. Who knows what treasure they’ll produce in the future?

Can I encourage you not to be too quick to put away your garbage, whatever that represents in your life right now? Give is another thoughtful examination and allow God to speak to you. Who knows what kind of testimony is hiding there waiting for discovery?
Testimonies are priceless gems buried in our trials, mess, afflictions, brokenness, life garbages, and circumstances.

What is that garbage in your life? Sort it out PROPERLY before you bin it.

Comments are welcome.

Photo by Tom Fisk from Pexels

When Transition beckons!

When you collide with unexpected transition how do you build up the courage to step into the new and let go of the past? How do you change your perspective from what you know to what is different? How does faith play out?

When I crashed at the borderline of transition a few years ago, I was scared to let go of what I knew and step into the unknown. I could hear myself evaluating, ‘should I step into it, should I stay in what I know, or settle at that borderline waiting for clarity?’ But you know it is scary sitting at the borderline right? And at times you look back at the place you once knew and the new one staring at you, hoping you can have both and lose none. Unfortunately, you’ll have to choose one if you must proceed. Sometimes life throws us into the unexpected where we try to comprehend what to do and believe.

A transition can be unsettling no doubt, yet here I am faced with another one, and you never know what it unfolds down the line. However, I know I have a Father who knows all things and has gone ahead and laid out the right and perfect plan for me.
That perfect plan may not necessarily be smooth and rosy like we want it.

In case you are going through the same transition conflict and wondering how you will get through it, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You say, but I don’t want things to change. I hear you. And believe me, I’ve been sitting on that fence and scared to jump over the other side. Perhaps if only I could see what that other side presents for the future, then I can gather the courage to jump into it. I have so many options and pictures in my mind entirely different from what the other side looks like at the moment.

My heart longs to say yes to the new transition but my mind is frightened because that is not the picture I want. As I hunched over my keyboard typing this post yesterday and gazing at the blue and white sky across my lounge, all I could do was encourage myself in The Lord.

So today I dare to walk down this transition path, beating down the unsettling fear that threatens to hold me down because I know He holds my tomorrow. And because He beckons, I’m taking that WALK.

Can I encourage you today? Wherever you are, and whatever He has positioned in your path, brave up, let FAITH awaken in you and WALK that transition. His promise to you is ‘Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10.

Stand tall today, collide with that ‘TRANSITION’ and fearlessly march into it knowing that The King (Jesus) is with you and He has promised never to leave nor forsake you.

Comments are welcome.

Caught in His arms!

She was about to run away when her eyes met his, sending an electrifying halt in the atmosphere. He seems to be the Host on the table. She quickly turned away to leave the room. However, before she could get to the door of the building, he caught her. She felt a warm, gentle grip on her arm. She turned around to see who it was, and there he took her into his arms and said, “excuse me, I believe the empty chair at the table is yours.”

She was lost for words, which is surprisingly not like her, as she is generally very conversational and seems to have an answer for everything, except this time she couldn’t. Unable to take her eyes off his. She was shaking in his arms, her heart melting on the inside, and overtaken by indescribable silence.

While still suspended in awe, trapped, and paralysed to her feet, she quickly replied, “sorry, the seat is not mine,” trying to control her cracking voice. “Yes, it is yours, and I made it ready and waiting for you,” he replied. “No, I think I am in the wrong place. I don’t belong here. Who are you and why did you run after me?” She asked.
However, he took her by the hand and led her back into the dining hall, to an unoccupied chair at the table with her name engraved. Planting a kiss on her forehead, he whispered in her ears “I am the One who prepared a place at the table for you.”

When birthdays are not enough to describe my overwhelming heart, I simply stare into your face and get lost in Your love for me. Just as I’m doing in this photo.

In that Waiting!

When life throws you in a waiting place, don’t rush out but rather reflect on why you are there at such a time, and what you can learn in that phase. As we all find ourselves in a waiting place desperately hanging on to the next news, decision or changes that may impact our lives and that of thousands, there is one word that can take the fear and anxiety away and replace it with HOPE. It’s call PATIENCE. Patience can still fear in you and replace it with PEACE. That’s the best gift we can give the mind and our soul. No one likes waiting including myself, but in times like these, patience is the best friend we can adopt to remain calm amid chaos.

I have struggled with ‘Waiting’ in the past and I still do today. I guess am someone who likes to know ‘right now’ what’s on the other side of the curtain before I make a move. However, when life hits a challenging mountain, rather than fuss around why the mountain, I think you and I should work together and figure out how we can move and defeat that mountain.
Since we are all forced in a waiting place, it is the right place to reflect on the journey we’ve been embarking on for decades. I call it ‘look deep into your closet and sort out those eyecatching chores,’ Laughs! I have mine to sort out too, but you know am not referring to a physical closet. I am talking about our lives even though some closets would love the attention.

We are all eagerly waiting to get back into the busy bustling of life. And yes, I know this seemingly stagnant period can be overwhelming for many with a desperate longing for answers. ‘When is it going to end, how long will it take, what will life be after this season?’ My advice, maybe we should all calm down and positively make use of this season.

Waiting seasons don’t last forever so I don’t want to let it go without learning a thing or two, without improving on my character, without working on that bad habit, without aiming for a clean heart and a right spirit, without loving deep, without intentionality in my love life, without mastering selflessness, without surpassing in generosity, without growing in kindness, without mastering the art of listening (gee, I desperately need this one), without being present in the moment (my greatest struggle), without gratefulness as an ever-constant word on my lips, and how can I forgot learning about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. These are my to-work-on commitments during these ‘unprecedented times’ (as they call it).

What about you, what will you use this season doing? Take advantage of this ‘waiting phase’ while it lasts. Don’t let it slip through your fingers. Please, not on your watch. Time wasted can be hard to redeem. You can’t go back into yesterday and make up for something you fail to do. They say the most valuable thing on earth is TIME. How will you spend yours?

You’re welcome to sit right here and reflect. There’s more than one chair in the porch above.

Comments are welcome.

The Wooden Cross (Reposted)

The Cross that brought me back to my senses
The Cross that broke the chains of bondage
The Cross that brought restoration in my life
The Cross that saved me
The Cross that stood tall on Calvary’s Hill
The Cross draining with blood
My Saviour’s blood that wiped away my sins
Oh the Precious Blood of The Lamb slain for me
The Powerful Cross that redeems

The Cross where my Saviour was hung
The Cross that made history
The Cross that will never fade away
The Cross still saving lives for over two thousand years.
The Cross that took my sins away
The Cross built for me
The Power of the Wooden Cross
The Cross that made a way
The blessed Cross where my Saviour defeated sin
The Powerful Cross that redeems

If not for the Cross where would I be….Thank you for saying ‘YES’ to the Cross and for rising up the third day. You defeated death and the power of the grave, and You are seated at the right hand of God the Father interceding for me.
Now I am forgiven, saved, justified and on the journey of sanctification.
I am loved, favoured, called, chosen and set apart for Your Glory.
Thank You, Jesus.

Happy Easter to all my followers and readers.
May this Easter be filled with blessings and divine encounter of Jesus’ unconditional love for you.

God’s blessings.