Going Beyond the Shadows!
For years I have hidden behind the shadows of my scars. I now wonder if I can step out and be free. My scars are sacredly hiding in the dark corners of my heart fighting the syndrome of judgementalism if they ever get out. I’ve never told anyone apart from my mentor which was just not the whole story. I didn’t have the boldness to stand out and join the masses with similar scars and say ‘me too.’ The environment I grew up in didn’t give me that privilege to talk about them.
No one likes scars. I’ve seen so many people going to extremes to erase physical scars. But how about the emotional and psychological scars that damage your dignity, devalues and leave you worthless. I don’t think there’s any medication or surgery that can heal those scars. You’ll have to intentionally step out of them, even after you’ve done all types of rehabilitation and counselling. Otherwise, they continue to rob you off your confidence and value, leaving you emotionally and mentally drained. Of course, some of them will require medical support, but that can only work when you make up your mind and cooperate through the process declaring that enough is enough.
I’ve been living in the dark silence about my scars for 21 years now, scared that I’ll get judged and tagged if I ever open up about them. And also unsure of the reaction from my family members and loved ones if they ever hear the news.
Journeying through the seasons, I discovered that life is full of scars, and you can’t dodge them, no matter what you do. You can put up a disguise, but that’s how far you can go. Though scars may not look pleasing, they still remind us of the past and add taste to the testament of our lives. As humans, we fall so many times, and each scar retained has a story to teach us and help someone.
Scars are part of life’s journey here on earth. They remind us of the ‘how’ it happened and ‘why’ it happened, and also add as vital ingredients to the unfolding future ahead. Bear in mind, that we may not know all the ‘whys’ even though we know the ‘hows.’
Recently, I started opening up about some dark scars I’ve been hiding. I found myself sharing more of my dark past with a broader audience, and I don’t feel any more shame, no more fear of being judged, called names and looked down upon just because I’ve fallen victim to some unaccepted baseness of human nature.
My story will no longer be hidden. I am stepping out of every shadow that is holding me captive and going beyond the dark to find hope and courage to create new seasons of life. To be a tenacious voice to my society and culture, facing every naysayer who thinks we are better off hiding in the dark because of our scars and proving to them with a fearless audacity that we are greater in the light. So hear me dark shadow from wherever you are, we will hide no more.
He that is without sin let him cast the first stone!
More of my story in my upcoming memoir ‘Beyond the Shadows’ soon to be published.
Watch this space……gradually loading.
Comments are welcome