Starting all Over Again in the Unfamiliar
No one likes starting all over again not even children like that. But at times God allows you to go back to the starting point for a reason. It might be to help you discover what you’ve missed initially at the start because you were eager and desperate to start and finish. So some of the recipes and ingredients needed along the way to keep you strong and focus were missed.
Currently, I find myself at a stage where I have to start all over again. Had to leave everything after five years of hard labouring to start all over again in a different setting and environment. I don’t understand it all at the moment, but I know God has a plan. I tried imagining how it’s going to happen and when but got no clue. You know when you’ve climbed the ladder half way through heading for the top, then suddenly from nowhere, you find yourself at the bottom starting point again, not knowing why you got there when you were almost getting at the very top. That’s where I find myself. Climbing that ladder again is not easy especially when you know that you’ve been there before. The pain of doing it again just occupies your whole being.
During my University course, I had some demanding major units to complete. They took so much time, energy and sacrifice to complete, and then I will have to wrap up with a presentation in front of the faculty panel including our professor who was very hard to please. Oh my, my, it’s one of those moments you don’t want to face. So with all the hard work of research and different analyses for 11 intensive weeks, wraps up with a presentation where you sit on a thin line of uncertainty whether the panel will give you a yes or no. Seriously it was like sitting on an egg and praying it doesn’t crack. So I stood there and gave an excellent presentation but didn’t know how I ended up with a NO. Which means repeat the subject again and pay the fees the second time. I can’t put into words the feeling at that time. I said to myself, repeating the subject alone is just a big pain not to mention paying the fees again as well. So I later didn’t mind paying the fees again, but not repeating the subject. I wanted to skip the process of doing the subject again so bad, but my lecturer and the faculty didn’t allow that. You know how you ask children to do something again and they go ‘again?’ As if they didn’t hear it the first time, but now asking you with an attitude and a frowning face. That’s exactly how I felt. I was like, excuse me!
So I painfully and reluctantly redid the subject. But this is what I learnt, by the time I did the subject for the second time, suddenly it became clearer, gained more insights about the topic and profited on some valid and significantly mind-blowing points missed when I did it the first time. My report and presentation were unquestionably great and excellent. I mean, I didn’t know how I missed it the first time, but I covered every hidden pothole initially missed.
Due to the tension and demanding nature of my course, many students will rather give up, cancel the course and register for another one or another University than redo the failed subject. They will rather take shortcuts than repeating. I almost did, but God kept me there and gave me the strength to re-do it again. I thank God for that opportunity because I became better than the first attempt.
What just came to my mind now, is the saying of reading something again for the second time. And that every time you go back to read it, you get a better revelation than the first time. You begin to see things in a different perspective and much clearer. You get a deeper understanding, and sometimes you think, ‘why didn’t I see this before?’ You begin to understand the author’s message better than previously. At times, God can ask you to start all over again just to allow you see and realise what you’ve missed when you initially went that way. He is not trying to demote you but to teach you some essentials that will better equip you for going through the journey again, much prepared and strengthen than before. He is the God of second chances. Therefore, embrace the opportunity He has given you to go through the journey a second time or more, and be open and ready for the revelations you’ll encounter. So start again if God says so and don’t give up. Draw strength from Him to make progress.
Are you contemplating whether to start again or quit? Let God guide you through.
Comments are welcome.